WAG night of nights.

I don't follow the footy nearly as closely as I used to. After the Ben Cousin melodrama and the Chris Judd feeding frenzy I can't watch it the same way I used to. However, I always make time for the Grand Final and Brownlow night - where the wives and girlfriends (WAGs) of footballers strut their stuff, proving that when it comes to clothing, less is more.

There were, however, a few girls that did manage to leave some things sacred. Jonathan Brown's date, Kylie Adams, as well as Paul Medhurst's date, Hayley Moxon, looked beautiful and proved that you don't need to show cleavage to look feminine and glamourous, even if it does make you a disgrace to the WAG way of life.

And if I have to hear about how Rebecca Twigley (girlfriend of Chris Judd) stole the show one more time, I think I might scream. Her dress, made of two cut up bedsheets cinched at the waist by a god awful Roman inspired monstrosity of a belt and shoes gave her the "I can wear all the latest trends at once and make them all look shit and cheap" prize, whilst also making me think twice about the Roman sandals I bought a few seasons ago that I've been eager to dust off for summer. How dare you make me doubt my vintage prowess! And I don't think we need to talk about the dress that Brent Harvey's wife wore... let's just leave it behind us.

On the other hand, I probably should thank the ladies of football, for reminding me that you don't need to be rich to stop you from looking like a terracotta-tinted tart. Following the latest trends make you look stupid and are nothing to classic, long lasting style and glamour, and WAGs would never be able to tell the difference if it locked them in a sun bed. If anything, I should take comfort in the fact that in 10 years time, the WAGs will look back on their red carpet photos thinking "What in the name of arse was I thinking?" and if they don't, they leave all the tasteful and classic stuff for the rest of us who actually have style.

I wish the girls from Go Fug Yourself could've seen the Brownlow. OH, they'd have a field day.

In other news, I wish I had an occasion to wear this dress to. It is EXACTLY my size. This will probably the only time I'll ever say "I wish I were a WAG", or, "I wish I had an invite to the ARIAs".